


Only Light

by Impala_Chick



Category: The Conjuring (Movies)
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Clairvoyance, F/M, First Meetings, Ghosts, Growing Up, Misses Clause Challenge, Mother-Daughter Relationship, POV Female Character, Pre-Canon, Spirits, Talking To Dead People, Teen Romance, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Chick/pseuds/Impala_Chick
Summary: Lorraine grows up haunted. She learns to keep her terrible abilities a secret from everyone, until she meets Ed.
Relationships: Ed Warren/Lorraine Warren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Only Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caphairdadbeard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caphairdadbeard/gifts).



> Inspired by some research I did at the [Warrens Website](http://www.warrens.net/warrens-biography/) \- although this is based on the fictional characters portrayed in The Conjuring films. 
> 
> RIP Lorraine.
> 
> Thanks so much for requesting a fandom that is near and dear to me for many reasons. Happy Yuletide!

The first time she met a ghost, Lorraine was four. She was waiting outside of her kindergarten class for her mother to pick her up. Her new friend had just left, and she was sitting alone on the curb. She thought she heard someone walking through the grass, but when she turned her head to look there was no one there. 

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she felt her skin prickling as if someone was watching her. She didn’t turn around, too afraid of what she might see. A small voice spoke in her ear. 

“I want to play. Will you play with me?” It rasped.

“No!” Lorraine screamed. She was too scared to turn around, but the voice didn’t speak to her again. 

When she tried to tell her mother about it, she was quickly and loudly admonished and sent straight to bed for causing her mother such a fright. She lay alone, huddled under her blankets, terrified that the voice would return. 

She didn’t hear from it again until four days later. She was playing hopscotch on the blacktop with some other kids and when she reached the last box, a shadow fell over her.

“I like this game,” it whispered. Lorraine turned around, but her friends were back at the other end of the blacktop. The voice had come from somewhere unmistakably close. 

“You can play,” Lorraine whispered back. She heard a small, childlike laugh and then watched as a girl with pigtails and grubby old clothes materialized in front of her. The girl looked washed-out and paper thin, and the sunlight seemed to pass right through her.

Lorraine gasped, but didn’t feel afraid anymore. This girl was real and asking her to play. Even if she wasn’t living in the sense that Lorraine was living, she hadn’t done anything to hurt Lorraine or anyone else.

The girl played along with Lorraine’s group all morning, following their movements or laughing when someone else laughed. Lorraine’s other friends didn’t say anything, so they must not have been able to see her. 

When the girls were called back to the classroom, Lorraine waved to the strange girl. She smiled and then vanished in a burst of mist. Lorraine didn’t see her again.

+

At eleven years old, Lorraine figured out that it was probably best to keep her abilities a secret.

“Mom, wait. Look.” Lorraine tugged on her mother’s sleeve outside the church. They were about to walk in, but there was a man sitting on the church steps with his hands out. He had a thick and shabby brown coat pulled up to his ears presumably because it was cold outside. His eyes were wide and glazed with tears. Light passed right through him, and no one was stopping to talk to him.

“Where?” Her mother asked.

“The man. On the steps. He’s asking for help.” Lorraine pointed right at him. They were only two steps down from where he stood. 

“There’s no one there, honey,” her mother said. 

“Let me just talk to him,” Lorraine said as she broke away from her mother to approach the man. He looked up at Lorraine with surprise, as if he hadn’t realized that anyone could see him. 

“What do you need? Can’t you come in?” 

The man reached out to grab her, and Lorraine hastily stepped back. She stumbled into someone walking up the steps. 

“Hey!” Lorraine shouted as the man reached for her again. She scrambled up the steps, weaving through various people. She could feel eyes on her as she tried to get out of the way.  
She felt cold, slimy skin grip her ankle and trip her. She tumbled to the ground with a shout, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

“Let me touch you,” the man grumbled. 

“No!” She looked up to see a few adults staring down at her, perplexed. It was evident that they could not see what she could. “Leave me alone!”

Lorraine got to her feet and made a mad dash for the church doors. She threw herself inside and fell to her knees. She looked back over her shoulder to see the man growling and snarling at her, but he did not take a step closer. She was breathing hard and her body was trembling, but she pushed herself to her feet again.

Her mother ran up to take her hand. She shook her arm angrily.

“Why did you do that?” She asked. 

Lorraine looked around to realize that everyone around her was silent and staring at her. 

“What is wrong with your child?” Someone whispered harshly to Lorraine’s mother. 

“What evil has she brought with her?” Another shrieked. 

Lorraine squeezed her eyes shut and clasped her arms around her chest, worried about the fearful looks that people had fixed on her. 

The commotion didn’t subside until the Pastor emerged to see what had happened. Everyone pointed at Lorraine and she wilted under the scrutiny. She burst into tears, but not even her own mother would touch her. The pastor was the one who gently put a hand on her shoulder and made the others leave her be. 

She sat through the service, kneeling when she was supposed to and mumbling the words.

The man whose eyes glowed with hatred and evil faded from her memory, but the sneers and fearful faces of the church-goers did not.

+

Bridgeport gossiped about her after what happened outside the church. Neighborhood children would run by her yelling ‘freak’ or ‘ghost girl.’ Lorraine was careful to avoid all mention of ghosts or spirits, even though they still occasionally tried to speak with her, and her reputation followed her well into High School.  


On a bright spring day when she was walking home from school, the old woman who lived a few houses down approached her. The woman dabbed at her teary eyes and swayed a little as she stepped out onto the street.

“Child, is it true? Can you speak to the dead?” The woman whispered as she glanced up and down the street.

Lorraine eyed her suspiciously and did not answer. The woman was blocking her path. 

“Excuse me, I have to go,” Lorraine said as she skirted past the woman.

The woman reached out to grab onto Lorraine’s sleeve and look at her beseechingly. 

“Please. Could you try? I have to speak to Harry again, one last time. I can feel him in my house. I know he hasn’t left yet.” 

Lorraine took a deep breath and shook the woman’s hand off of her arm. She didn’t know if she would be able to help, but the woman looked mostly harmless. And she appeared so sad and lonely. So Lorraine acquiesced and followed the woman through her front yard and up her front steps. 

As soon as she stepped over the threshold of the front door, she felt cold all over. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She took a moment to steady herself before walking into the living room. 

And there was Harry, sitting on a big green recliner near the radio. 

“I see him,” Lorraine breathed as she stared at the ghost. He slowly looked up at her, but his facial expression remained calm and blank. It was as if he wasn’t seeing her at all. He gripped the arm rests of the chair tighter. Lorraine felt a chill travel up her spine.

Lorraine didn’t take her eyes off of him, even as the woman spoke to her. “Ask him why he hasn’t left.”

“Well, Harry? You are scaring us. What is wrong?”

“My watch!” Harry yelled as he swiveled his head unnaturally to stare at his wife. He stood up from the chair and bared his teeth. He looked much larger than any normal man.

Lorraine quickly tried to step between her and Harry. But the woman gasped and tugged at Lorraine’s hand.

“I can see him,” the woman whispered. She gripped Lorraine’s hand tightly and took another step towards Harry.

“Darling, what is it? What can I do?” Tears sprang to the woman’s eyes as she spoke. Lorraine could only watch. If Harry tried to attack, Lorraine had no idea how to stop him.

“My watch!” He bellowed again. He raised his fists and his eyes narrowed accusingly, but he did not try to land a blow. 

“I have it still! It is in my jewelry box.” The woman let go of Lorraine and hurried up the stairs, presumably to get the box. 

Harry just stood there with his fists raised. His body was tense as he waited. Lorraine felt frozen in place, afraid that if she moved it would set Harry off. She tried to quiet her breathing and keep her body steady. 

When the woman finally re-emerged, she held up a gold watch in triumph. The woman grabbed Lorraine’s hand again, and Lorraine watched as her gaze focused on Harry. She held out the watch and he grabbed it from her hand.

The woman gasped and wrenched her hand away, still afraid even though she’d done what Harry had asked. The ghost dissipated in a flash of light. The woman sagged against Lorraine in visible relief and cried softly into Lorraine’s shoulder.

Seeing the old woman smile as she’d said goodbye made Lorraine feel good about how she’d helped. She was glad she could lighten the woman’s load and make her feel comfortable in her own home again.

+

By the time Lorraine was sixteen, her mother was very purposefully trying to find Lorraine a husband. Lorraine's mom was always going on about the Smith’s son, who was only eighteen and still unwed. Or the Langley’s son who had just enlisted in the Army. Lorraine felt awkward and embarrassed every time her mom talked about boys, so her mother changed tactics. Visiting The Colonial Theater downtown would be an opportunity for her mother to get Lorraine out into the public eye and mingle with all of the town's more social families.

Lorraine actually didn’t mind her mother's solution. The Theater had a robust calendar, with events every Wednesday. Lorraine looked forward to seeing the children’s choir sing or the Bridgeport Orchestra perform. Every second Wednesday of the month there was a town hall meeting, which was always entertaining. There was usually some new installment of the long-standing feud between Mr. Arbuckle, who never mowed his lawn, and Mrs. Smitherson, who lived three doors down and always let her dog poop on the sidewalk.

On the night of the Bridgeport High Senior Recital, an usher escorted her and her mother to their seats.

“Nice to meet you, Ma’am. I’m Ed,” the boy said as he took her mother’s arm.

Ed had clear blue eyes and a blinding smile that he pointedly directed at Lorraine. But before he turned to escort her mother down the main aisle, Lorraine saw a shadow fall across his face. 

She walked behind him cautiously. She had to look again to be sure.

But it was unmistakable. There was a dark energy just off Ed’s shoulder, following him. It turned its head to look at Lorraine, and she felt a chill run down her spine. It didn’t have eyes, or even a face, but she could feel it watching her, sneering at her. Daring her to come closer.

After they were seated, her mother leaned over to whisper in her ear. 

“What a cute young man,” her mother stage-whispered. She definitely said it loud enough for the people seated next to them to overhear.

Lorraine sank down deeper into her chair.

“Please don’t talk to him, Mom,” Lorraine whispered vehemently. She was worried that her mom might try to invite the boy over for dinner or do something else maternal and embarrassing, but even worse was the prospect of deaking with whatever darkness was following him. Lorraine really didn’t want to have to explain why she couldn’t go near Ed again. 

When the show ended, Lorraine told her mom she would meet her at the car. She tried to sneak out of the back door closest to the stage, hoping to avoid Ed and whatever was attached to him. She nearly made it to the car before someone called out to her.

“Hey, was the show that bad?”

“What?” Lorraine spun around, horrified to see Ed again. He was carrying a large garbage bag. She looked around him frantically, but couldn’t feel or see any type of dark presence. She relaxed marginally.

“It’s just, you ran out of there so fast.” Ed tossed the bag into the bin, and turned back to smile at her.

“Oh, right. Well, the Seniors obviously should have put in a bit more effort. I've seen elementary school students perform better,” Lorraine joked. Ed ran a hand through his thick brown hair and bit his bottom lip, and all Lorraine could think was, _oh no. Her mother was right._

+

The next Wednesday, she noticed Ed as soon as she and her mother walked through the front doors of the theater. She couldn’t see or feel any evil presence, so she stayed in the lobby when Ed walked up to say hello. Her mother giggled and waved and made a big show of leaving them alone, but mercifully Ed didn’t comment on that. Instead he told her about his guitar and his model car collection, and she told him about the new ice cream parlor that just opened up down the street from her house. She almost didn't make it to her seat by the time the curtains opened.

She was too distracted after that to really pay attention to the show. She hoped Ed would be around afterwards. Maybe he’d want to come get ice cream with her sometime.

She shouldn’t have been so excited. After the show, Ed was waiting in the lobby to walk with her and her mother out to their car but the dark entity was back. Lorraine didn’t know what it was or what it wanted, but she felt it watching her. She also saw the way it flitted around Ed’s head. Based on its purposeful movements every time Ed turned around, she knew it wasn’t trapped. It was intentionally following Ed. Just being near it made Lorraine feel queasy and forlorn. 

Lorraine was quiet on the walk to the car, watching it. Ed kept casting sidelong glances her way, but Lorraine just shook her head slightly and offered a small smile while her Mom kept talking about the show. The dark thing was growing while they walked and Lorraine kept her eyes on it, willing it to leave Ed alone.

Once they got to the car, the hairs on the back of Lorraine’s neck were standing up. It was now big enough to stand as tall as Ed, but it moved like shimmering light across a pond. 

It only took a second before Lorraine realized she at least had to tell Ed. 

“Mom, could you give us a minute?” Lorraine said as she crossed her arms and stretched to her full height. 

“Sure, honey.” Her Mom slid into the car with a knowing wink and a gleeful smile, and Lorraine did her best not to groan or roll her eyes.

As soon as the door was pulled shut, Lorraine walked to the back of the car and leaned against the trunk. Ed followed her and leaned into the car on her right side. He kept clenching and relaxing his hands, and his cheeks were tinged with pink.

Lorraine’s heart constricted at the thought of angering him with what she was about to say, but it couldn’t be helped.

“I know this is going to sound crazy,” she said slowly. “But there’s something following you.”

“What do you mean?” He said as he cast his gaze around the parking lot. People were still filing out of the theater and getting into their cars, but no one was paying them any attention.

Lorraine took a deep breath and took a second to mourn any type of relationship she could have had with Ed. After telling him what she had to tell him, there was no way he was going to speak with her again.

“I can’t tell you why I know, but something dark and evil is hanging over you like a shroud. I can see it casting its shadow on you. I just wanted you to know so you can get help. From a priest, maybe. I'm sorry, I don't know how to stop it.”

Lorraine scuffed her shoe against the concrete, smoothed her skirt, and kept her eyes down. She braced herself for some kind of outburst or insult, but instead Ed was quiet for a moment.

“I see a face in my closet sometimes,” Ed admitted so quietly that she barely heard him. When she finally looked at him, he was keeping very still and looking straight ahead.

“Is she on me right now?” He asked fearfully.

“Yes,” Lorraine told him, even though the look on his face made her wish that she didn’t have to.

“Okay.” He stiffly got up from the trunk of the car and turned to face her.

“I didn’t mean to bring this to you,” he said. His face was drawn and he had the saddest look in his eye, as if he really meant it. And then he walked stiffly back to the lobby of the theater. On his own. 

Lorraine was worried about him, but she didn’t know what else she could have done. 

As she sat in the car on the way home, she kept replaying the interaction in her head. The most astounding part wasn’t the evil entity, or Ed’s bravery. The most astounding part was that he’d believed her.

+

Lorraine practically begged her mother to hurry up so that they could be early to the next Wednesday night Theater production. She wasn’t holding her breath about getting to talk to Ed again, but she just wanted to see him. She wanted to know if he was alright.

She was relieved to see him handing out popcorn in the lobby. His eyes met hers as soon as she walked through the doors, and she smiled hesitantly. He smiled back and waved her over to the table. He leaned towards her as soon as she approached him and he smelled like butter and salt.

“Meet me after the show, okay? Same place," he said under his breath. Lorraine nodded before stepping out of the way of other customers.

Concentrating on the elementary school production of The Nutcracker was a lost cause at that point. Lorraine idly tapped her fingers against her knee, wondering what Ed had to tell her. Maybe he hadn’t talked to the priest at all, or maybe she’d been wrong all along. 

But surely he wouldn’t have smiled at her like that if he was angry with her.

The production dragged on way too long. Once the curtains began to draw closed, Lorraine was up and out of her seat. She didn’t even speak to her mother before she dashed off to the back door. Surely that’s the place Ed meant.

He was there, throwing out the trash. His broad shoulders gave a hint as to the man he would surely become, and the fit of his slacks was a blessing. When he turned to look at her, she was struck by how calm and carefree he looked. He rolled up his sleeves and pushed back his hair as he walked over to greet her.

“I just wanted to say thanks for saying something to me. I kind of thought I was losing my mind. I definitely wasn’t going to ever tell anyone.” 

“Don’t sweat it,” Lorraine said. But his words warmed her. She bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy. Gratitude was not what she’d been expecting.

Ed shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped over closer to her. He bumped his shoulder against hers and she looked into his bright blue eyes and she realized how much she wanted to be able to see him again. 

“I’ll walk you back to your car?” He offered, sounding hopeful.

“No, that’s okay.” Lorraine watched his face crumple a bit before he schooled his expression. She smiled and continued. “ _But_ if you want to come for dinner tomorrow, I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind.”

Ed legitimately did a double take as he looked at the ground and then back at her with his eyes wide.

“You really had me there for a second,” he said, sounding a little breathless. Lorraine laughed and reached out to take his hand. She loved the way their hands fit together, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Maybe you could help other people too," he said as they walked.

She looked up to see him watching her thoughtfully. His nonjudgmental statement reminded her of Harry, and how good it felt to help that woman.

“You really think so?”

He shrugged and squeezed her hand. “Yeah, if you wanted.” 

She didn’t answer right away, but she was taken with the idea of it. Maybe there were others that needed her to speak up about the darkness in their lives. She could help people understand that they didn’t have to be ashamed or scared anymore. Because some monsters were real.

And Ed was all the proof she needed that people could be helped. There wasn’t any darkness around him anymore, only light.


End file.
